


Seamus x Dean - Jam Yourself

by idioticfangirl



Series: 20 Songs Challenge [20]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Swap, Deamus, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harry has terrible ideas, M/M, Oblivious, Polyjuice Potion, Setting people up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A songfic based on 'Jam Yourself' by Rizzle Kicks, specifically the line, 'you wanna see what it's like being me'.<br/>Or, the time Harry and Ron were so fed up with Seamus and Dean not being together that they concocted a terrible plan (and a terrible potion) to get them to kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seamus x Dean - Jam Yourself

It all started in potions. Slughorn was babbling on about how to use the potion they were making, although - Harry acknowledged with a smirk at Ron and Hermione - they already had first-hand knowledge. Finally, four years after they had first brewed it in a haunted bathroom, they were being officially taught how to make a Polyjuice Potion.

There was a bang from behind them, and a spattering of giggles, and Harry turned to see Seamus, covered in soot, being helped to his feet by Dean. Professor Slughorn sighed, looking bemused; he had long since stopped being surprised or angry, as this was at least the third time in two weeks. He valiantly ignored the coughs around the classroom caused by Dean brushing soot off Seamus' face, hair and clothes, and gradually the class regained its boring normality.

"Those two," Ron muttered, leaning over to Harry and jerking his head back, "need to get a bloody move on and stop dancing around each other."

"It's been six years," Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair, "what makes you think they'll stop now?" Ron shrugged, glancing back to where Seamus was laughing at something Dean said.

"I know," Harry breathed suddenly, gripping Ron's shoulder, "we can help them!"

"How?"

"Uh..." Harry scrambled desperately for an idea, "we can make them drink Polyjuice Potion? Turn them into each other?"

"Would that work?"

"Sure!" Harry flashed a (fake) confident smile, "Trust me." Ron glanced dubiously down at his potion, which was a dirty yellow colour.

"We'll use mine," Harry assured him, continuing to stir his, which was the perfect shade of green. At that moment, however, Malfoy walked past them, putting a hand out and knocking Harry's cauldron over as he did so. Slughorn tutted disapprovingly, muttering about how it 'had looked so good'. There wasn't time left to make another, so Harry turned despairingly to Ron, who shrugged cheerfully and asked, "What's the worst that could happen?"

Sneaking two vials of the potion out of the lesson was surprisingly easy. Seeing as they shared a dorm, so was finding some of Seamus' and Dean's hair. Getting them both to drink it, however, proved more difficult. They couldn't do it where others could see the transformation, so slipping it in their Pumpkin Juice in the Great Hall was out, and convincing the duo to drink what Harry gave them was insultingly hard. Mind you, it was still that muddy yellow colour.

Eventually, as Ron was about a second from making them drink it at wand point, they gave in and took the potion. How Harry and Ron kept a straight face as the two downed it, before running to the bathroom gagging, they didn't know, but they ran out of the common room to hide from the anger that would surely be coming soon, still laughing.

In the bathroom, Seamus turned to ask Dean what the hell Potter had given them, only to see...himself?

"Blimey, I don't remember there being a mirror there!" He exclaimed, eyes widening as the 'mirror' him didn't mimic his actions. Confused, he raised a hand to touch the mirror, but instead of the cold glass he expected to feel, there was warm skin.

"What the-"

He was cut off by the other him yelling, "You're me!"

They both swung to face the actual mirror, frowning when all was normal, the familiar faces of Seamus and Dean stared back at them.

"Then wha-" Seamus began, but stopped. Dean's mouth had moved. He raised a hand. Mirror Dean did the same.

"I don't know what they did, but I'm going to kill them for it!" Seamus groaned, looking away before he could see Dean's reflection doing the same.

"Where's Harry and Ron?" they ordered as they entered the common room, which was empty save Hermione, who was engrossed in a book. She looked up.

"They left, probably to the Quidditch field. I did tell them that they should be revising, but they just don't listen. Why?"

"I'm Dean and he's Seamus!" Dean exploded, with Seamus' mouth.

Hermione gaped at them, shutting her mouth after a few seconds to mutter darkly, "Those idiots."

"What have they done?" Seamus questioned, from within Dean.

"Polyjuice potion." Hermione answered shortly.

"How long are we stuck like this?" he asked, resigned to his fate inside his best friend's body.

"It should last about an hour. But," she raised an eyebrow ominously, "it was Ronald's potion they used, so there will almost definitely be some side effects." With that warning ringing in their ears, Hermione returned to her book.

Flinging himself onto his bed, Dean groaned, wondering whether he could stay here like this until he changed back.

"So that's what I look like sprawled out on the bed," Seamus joked from behind him.

"Stop it, it looks like I'm checking you out!" Dean mumbled, blushing as he acknowledged that it wouldn't be the first time.

"Uh...Seamus? What are you doing on Dean's bed?" Neville spoke up from behind them/

"I - I'm not," began Seamus, before realising that Neville didn't know about the swap, and was, in fact, talking to Dean.

"Ha, funny story," Dean muttered, knowing that this would take a long time.

"Nah, I'm only kidding. Harry told me all about it. So, I guess you two have a lot to talk about, huh? I'll - er - I'll leave you to it," and with an awkward smile, he left.

"Someone please tell me this will end soon," Dean complained, rubbing his face until he realised that he was technically rubbing Seamus' face, and he stopped.

It was decided that it would be easiest just to wait up in the dorm until the potion wore off. However, after two hours of chess and cards - and, even after two hours, it was unnerving to watch their bodies obeying someone else - it was time for dinner, and they were still decidedly not themselves. Cursing Ron for his complete ineptitude at potions, they both made a reluctant appearance at the Great Hall. Despite the overwhelming urge to either punch or curse Harry and Ron, they managed to get away with acting mostly normal, whilst keeping an eye out for any signs that they were going to change back any time soon.

As they were leaving, Neville cornered Seamus, dragging Dean's body away from the group. Frowning, Dean followed inside Seamus.

"Don't worry," Neville laughed, "I'm not going to steal him from you. I just want to say congrats, Dean, you finally got up the balls to ask him out!"

"Neville..." Dean whispered, but Neville mistook his embarrassment for Seamus', and ploughed on.

"He kept asking me for help! 'Oh, Neville, I love Seamus so much, how do I tell him?'" Still laughing, Neville winked and walked off.

"I - I never," Dean avoided Seamus' (his own?) eyes, "I never said it like that."

"But you did say it?"

"...Maybe? I mean, I just,"

"I though you didn't like me. I thought it was obvious that I like you."

Without thinking, Dean moved forwards, pushing his lips onto Seamus'. At first, Seamus reciprocated, but then pulled away, pushing Dean back.

"I - I can't - this is too weird," he panted

"Is it?" Dean frowned, "I - shit - I guess it is. We've been such good friends forever, and, damn, I'm sorry."

"No, no! Idiot, not that. Kissing myself!" Dean though about it, making a face. Seamus laughed, and pulled him into the Common Room.

The next morning, when Seamus woke up, it was in his own body. (The amount of jokes he'd made about going to bed in Dean's body was truly astonishing.) Getting up, he saw that Dean was already out of bed, so he ran down the stairs. When he saw Dean, talking animatedly to Harry in the Common Room, he grabbed him around the waist and kissed him. Amongst the haze of pleasure at finally being able to kiss Dean, he heard Harry say smugly to Ron, "I told you it would work."


End file.
